From: shoulder@montevideo.com.uy THE COCONUT TEST, A TARZAN OF THE JUNGLE ADVENTURE. CHAPPTER 1 Tarzan was the strongest man of the jungle, the protector of all the tribes and the animals from the soulless hunters always willing to kill them just for fun (and for a little money too). Every living thing animal or man from the different tribes of the wild jungle were friends of Tarzan The Ape Man and respected his wild powerful protector like one of their own gods. Everybody knew that the white ape had developed his huge muscles lifting tree trunks, lions, fighting against big gorillas etc...At six feet one and 240 lbs the guy was the "ultimate natural muscle head", some kind of a "Wild Charles Atlas". Once in the year they used to celebrate the "Strength Jungle Contest", where all the warriors coming from the darkest regions of the black continent prove their power in many events like carrying a big stone, lifting the fat man, or bench pressing, but the final event was "The Coconut Test". You should be asking: What a hell is "The Coconut Test" about?? Ok, I'll tell you. The competitor stands holding a hard coconut in his hands, and all that he must do is squeezing it until it's broken, hitting the coconut against something is not permitted. Is there anything more simple than that? I don’t think so!!! It's easy to say but...do you know the strength it takes to break a coconut ?! Let me tell you that the only man able to overcome the Coconut test year after year was Tarzan, (that guy is stronger than strong...!!!) It was a great show to see the muscle head Tarzan straining every muscle standing there directing all the strength he has right into his hands and forearms, with his thick fingers wrapping almost all the way around the solid coconut. And it was fucking hot to hear him grunting like those big bodybuilders lifting a ton of weight in the gym while squeezing. The pencils of tendons and tight veins running up and down his forearm grind down to the bone, and with a final grunt, he takes his effort to the limit, with a big grunt, displaying an incredible amount of muscle strength, breaking the coconut, and drinking it's sweet milk as an award for his effort, while every man and women greets their wild muscle hero. Everybody was very excited because in some days would take place the "Strength Jungle Contest", the day finally came, but Tarz of the Jungle, was absent and they had to start the Strength Contest without the muscleman, it was known for all that he was fighting with some ivory hunters or something like that. Big men from all Africa endured test after test, until it was time for the coconut test. Everybody knew that no one would endure such an exigent test, and that would keep the "natural muscle boy" in his strong man throne. But suddenly a strange white man appeared from nowhere, driving an gigantic old bike; he looked like a monster of muscle. His head was bald and his eyes were so dark that you would feel afraid to look at them directly, the enormous man walked through the crowd with a very cocky attitude, wearing a black tank top, military pants and dusty black boots, they could tell that he was fucking big as a house!!! He was surely 6.3 and about 300lbs, his arms had to be at least 21" !!! He was carrying a small video camera in his hands… He roughly grabbed one of the black boys by his throat and asked: "What is your name?" "Mo.. Mombutu, sir" asked the perplexed boy, who had never see a man that big before... in fact nobody had!!! The giant roughly put the camera on Mombutu´s small shoulder and turned on. The man took the coconut in his hands, and two seconds after it simply exploded like if it was an egg!!! Everybody stopped laughing and talking. It was unbelievable. Then he looked at all the surprised people and started laughing… "HA HA HA HA…!!!" His loud laugh was so deep, and when he stopped laughing -hands on his hips- he said something like: -.. STUPID NIGGERS, I BET YOU DON´T EVEN KNOW WHAT "STEROIDS" MEANS... BUT YOU ARE GONNA FIND OUT WHAT "PAIN" MEANS IF YOU DON´T TELL ME WHAT I WANT TO KNOW. MY MOMMA CALLS ME "BABY" BUT MY GYM BUDDIES CALL ME THE BUTCHER!!!! I HAVE BEEN TRAINING SINCE I WAS 14 TO BE THE STRONGEST MAN AROUND… I HAVE EATEN TONS OF EGGS, MILK, PROTEIN SHAKES, MEGA-MASS, ALL KIND OF ANABOLIC STEROIDS… WHATEVER IS NEEDED TO BE BIGGER EVERYDAY!!! I DON´T PLAY FOOTBALL, RUGBY OR SOCCER, I DON´T GO TO THE CINEMA.. THE GYM IS MY PLACE… THE ONLY PLACE!!! - The enormous Butcher stroke a most muscular pose, and he looked like Lou Ferrigno in Hulk!!!! All the people was amazed… it was too much!!! -EVERY CENT I WIN GOES FOR STEROIDS… NOW I AM THE BIGGEST GUY EVER STEPPED THE GYM… MY FRIEDS SAY THAT THE ABUSE OF DRUGS HAVE CHANGED MY MOOD, MY MOTHER SAID SHE DOESN´T LOVE ME ANYMORE!!! MY GIRLFRIEND.. -THAT BITCH-... LEFT ME FOR A FITNESS COMPETITOR.. BUT HE DOENS´T COMPITE ANYMORE.. ¿HOW WOULD HE COMPITE WITHOUT HIS LEGS AND ARMS? HA HA HA HA HA!!!- His insane laugh sounded like a thunder into the ears of every person, but nobody said a word. And he continued his discourse: -.. LAST WEEK I WAS USING EVERY WEIGHT IN MY GYM TO DO MY SQUATT WHEN SUDDENLY A NEW GUY ENTERED THE GYM AND SAID SOMETHING LIKE: "WOW..THAT GUY IS A MONSTER.. IF HE GETS MAD YOU´LL NEED TARZAN TO STOP HIM!!" I HAD TO KICK THE NEW GUYS ASS. HE HE HE… I AM THE ULTIMATE MUSCLE FREAK!!!! THE FUCKING KING OF MUSCLE!!! AND NOT EVEN TARZAN CAN STOP THE KING OF MUSCLE!! I WANT YOU TO TELL ME WHERE DOES HE LIVE. I´M GONNA SHOW EVERYBODY NOBODY CAN STOP ME!!! NOBODY!!! I´M GONNA KILL TARZAN!!! I´M GONNA BREAK HIS BONES.. I´M GONNA MAKE A BARBECUE WITH HIM AND I´M GONNA USE HIS WEAK NATURAL MUSCLES AS MY FOOD!!! BUT BEFORE I´M GONNA HAVE SOME FUN WITH HIM… I´M GONNA CRUSH HIM LIKE A BEETLE!!!- The crowd was in silence, but all of the were thinking the same: "What is Tarzan going to do with this giant ? or what is the giant going to do with Tarzan? -I´M GONNA LOOK FOR THAT ASS HOLE AND WHEN HE IS CLOSE ENOUGH I´M GONNA TAKE A BIG GRAB OF HIS PEC FLESH… I´LL MAKE HIM SHAKE THOSE COCONUTS OF MUSCLE!! I PROMISE YOU´RE GONNA HEAR HIM CRY FROM HERE!!! AND NOW TELL ME WHERE THE FUCK IS HIS TREE-HOUSE!!!!!!- After that awful scene, the Butcher started his way through the jungle to the tree where Tarzan lives... Shit...what would Tarzan do if he is taken by surprise for this Butcher?? How would he resist the blow of those killer fist?? CHAPTER 2 Every animal or insect in the deep jungle near the path of the Butcher felt the ground trembling for the powerful steps of the huge solid man. Many gorillas died in terror, their hairy big bodies crushed under the enormous boots of the Butcher. But killing Tarzan was not enough for this evil man. Not at all. If he was going to fight the ape man he should let him know who is in command. The huge man known as the Butcher walked through the jungle wearing heavy black clothes. Now he was a priest. A big, very big priest. CHAPTER 3 Tarzan was having lunch: a big cooked lion with 35 fresh bananas and 6 lts of yogurt. The perfect lunch for muscular development. After lunch, he couldn't help but looking at his own image on the big pieces of a mirror. "Fuck… I look good!!.." The long wild heir falling from his enormous shoulders..huge beefy pecs, and tights like tree trunks… He was about to go down his tree to take a bath in the river when he felt a little earthquake in his tree-house. "What's happening ?" Tarzan looked down: there was a big man kicking his big tree, "What a kick" said good Tarzan to himself. The man in black tank top shouted: "¡ Come here, big boy of the jungle, I've something to show you !" The muscle-boy jumped from his house and landed in front of the Butcher, every muscle bouncing. Tarzan's muscles looked in that moment just like an off season Jay Cutler. Not fat, but huge!!! The good natural muscle boy had hard muscles, powerful as hell, but he had that apparent softness that you see when a bodybuilder is off season. To be continued. . . . ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Ahora podes enviar GRATIS desde la web mensajes a telefonos celulares. Montevido COMM: El mejor lugar para empezar en Internet!. http://movil.montevideo.com.uy/sms