NERDMUSCLE By Chip Masterson Shawn was the ultimate nerd. We used to pick on him all the time. Nothing serious; just knocking all those books out of his hand and playing catch with his dork glasses. But when we broke the glasses once (oops) we pitched in and paid for new ones, though that didn't stop him crying like a baby. But when we got in high school we went our way and he went his and we only ever saw him hanging out with the other geeks. Well, in Chemistry my senior year I had him as my lab partner. He wouldn't look me in the eye and seemed to flinch every time I moved suddenly. At first it bugged the apeshit out of me but I started to feel sorry for him, the way you feel about a dog in a yard with too many Chevies as lawn ornaments. And he always dressed as SuperDork, with his shirt buttoned up high and this eternal navy blue nylon windbreaker. He looked like he was scrawny going on fat, the way his clothes sort of ballooned around him. So I tried to be calm and nice to him and he slowly started to warm up. Now, I'm hoping for a football scholarship so I really needed his help in Chemistry. The teach lost me somewhere between bases and altoids, and that was on the first day. So I've been extra nice coming up to the midterm. Even offered to come to his Dorkville house to study. His parents were the Ur-nerds, both of them. Nice and boring as leftover lemon Jell-O. His fatassed mom showed me upstairs to his room. I was totally not prepared for what I found there. Shawn had assembled, built and rebuilt a huge computer complex in his room, with old monitors and throw-away stuff he'd modified into this octopus-like bank of techno-wizardry. But it wasn't just the technical stuff: it was how fast he was typing that blew me away. His fingers were a blur over the keys and he never hit the backspace key. The clicking was just a solid pitch and the screen filled up with all sorts of numbers and letters and symbols and shit, like he was programming it in some super-fast way. Every now and again the computer would beep angrily and he'd stop and wait for the super-charged machine to catch up to him, then he'd start pounding stuff into them all over again. When he stopped, he stretched his spidery-long fingers and all the joints cracked. "Dude, how fast can you type? That's amazing." He looked kind of shy. "I don't know," he said. "I never figured it out. I've just got this project I'm working on for comp sci and want to get it done. It's a secret though. I spend a lot of time in here." I looked around at all the equipment, and saw something else that puzzled me. In the trash can were bent nails, ripped-up tennis balls and tons of playing cards torn in half. "You tear cards up when you're frustrated?" I asked. "A couple packs at a time, yeah." That would explain why the cards were still in the boxes. "Dude ... what did you say?" He looked a little proud, kind of. "I spend so much time typing that my arms cramp up and I don't want carpel tunnel syndrome, so I take breaks and work out the tension. At first I wasn't very strong but now I can tear three packs in half in about 10 seconds. That's three packs stacked together" He smiled at the way my jaw dropped open. "Got any change?" I fished in my pocket, pulled out a quarter and flipped it to him. He put his thumbs beneath it and pulled down with his index fingers and bent it in half! I felt hot and it was hard to breath. How could he be doing this shit? "No way, dude. No way can you be this strong. I've been working out since I was twelve and I can't do that." "It's your quarter," he said. He smiled at me again, took the bent-over quarter in his hands and bent it double again and handed it back to me. "Here you go: a quarter quarter." Then he snorted and gave out a braying geek laugh. I dodged the spit and noticed how ropy and thick his neck was. I marveled at the lump of metal in my hand: I tried to open it back up but couldn't bend it at all. His strength was incredible! "Shawn, do you work out more than just your grip, man?" Shawn was suddenly pleased with all the attention I was giving him. He blushed bright red. "I do isometrics. Just to loosen myself up." He put his hands together and did a kind of side-chest flex. I felt his bicep through his jacket and jerked my fingers away. It was like marble under all that slick, sliding nylon. "Dude, you're hard as a rock! That's gotta be like sixteen inches there. And you were about eleven inches sophomore year in gym class, I remember. You didn't put five inches on your arms just doing isometrics." I felt dizzy. He nodded. "Believe it or not, I don't care. You want to study?" "No," I said. "I need to comprehend this. If you could do that, then you must be some sort of genetic fre-" I caught myself from using "that word" and he relaxed when I said "genetic marvel. If you lifted weights, you'd probably grow like a house." He blushed again. "I'm kind of a klutz. I'd probably hurt myself and others." I had to see what was going on. "Look, take off your shirt. I've got to see what you've developed." He looked funny. "I'm not gay, nerdly. I just can't believe it." Well, I am gay, but none of you better say anything about it. Nobody knows and nobody will know, got it? He still looked iffy but he peeled his jacket off and then I could tell that what I thought was fat ... wasn't. Even through his oversized shirt I could see a thick chest and delts, a thicker back and beefy arms. He acted like that was it. "Come on, man. I gotta know your secret. I've been slaving in the gym. I gotta see what you've done with yourself." I was on the verge of really begging him when he started unbuttoning his shirt. I wasn't prepared for how deep the split was between his pecs. The tops even bounced and twitched as he worked the buttons down, and the split became a gully, then a cavern between the mounds of muscle. More buttons revealed rows of perfect, domed abs like silver ingots with the skin sucked up practically underneath them. He shrugged the shirt off his shoulders and the striations rippled around the dense crown of muscle. The shirt sleeves got caught on his triceps and he couldn't pull it off so I went around to help. His back was like nothing I'd ever seen, muscles piled on muscles, dimpling in and out of each other. I pulled it down off his horseshoes and pipe-thick biceps, wanting desperately to tongue the grooves and veins that defined those arms as a man's arms, and all other men were judged thereby. As he undid the wrist buttons his pecs pitched and fought each other like two sumo wrestlers. I so longed to put my nose between them, feel the pressure and smell his musk but then I saw his nerdling zit-covered face and Agent Scully Autopsy glasses and reminded myself where I was. At last he had the shirt off and he expanded himself with a few deep breaths. The veins were like twine tying together an side of beef. "Show me," I said. He looked embarrassed again, but started doing isometrics and his muscles jumped to the occasion. Bulging and writhing, he made them bigger and bigger with each flex. I felt drool fall out of my mouth but he was only watching himself. My head burned with envy, jealousy that this nerd should have so much muscle from just doing bullshit exercises while I sweated and trembled at my 275 lb bench press and 315 pound squat. I was nowhere near as muscular, as balanced and as lean as this freak. I had to put him in his place, restore the natural order of things. He was the braniac, I was the stud. No matter how bloated his muscles had gotten, they couldn't be as strong as mine. Mine were built with hard grunting labor year after year. They weren't just trophy muscles; they were real man muscles on my seventeen year old man's body. "Let's arm wrestle," I said. He looked down at the carpet. "I really think we ought to study now. The test's in two days. And you haven't done any of the reading." "Fuck that," I saw, watching him blush dark purple at the word, then smile and giggle. He cleared off a little space on a table and put up his arm. I admit I was a little intimidated by its sheer size. Although my guns were easily an inch bigger, his were more cut, fuller and more symmetrical, with better peaks. The belly stretched all the way to the elbow. More beautiful, in a word. His bodyfat was way lower than mine but that just means I have greater power. I sat down and grabbed his hand. I'd forgotten about the quarter. I winced as he gripped me hard and the struggle began. Struggle for me: he just waited a few seconds until my arm tremored, unable to move his. His bicep leapt up to a full peak with a thick vein running right over the top. My own thicker, less elegant arm bulged but I felt something give in my elbow; then he firmly pulled my hand down. I had to relax completely to avoid pulling my brachialis tendon. I couldn't believe it: he beat me so easily and he wasn't even sweating. And he still looked embarrassed behind his giant glasses. Almost resentfully, he asked "Can we study now?" But I couldn't stand up. I had a woody the size of a Captain Hook's pegleg. "Not yet. I want to see just how strong you really are. Put your hand back up." Dutifully, like it was the worst imposition, he put his arm back up. His bicep was still pumped and sat on his arm like a plump plucked chicken. This time took my other arm and placed my hand behind his hand. "Now this is what he call Indian arm wrestling." I made that up. "I thought that was something else." "Naw, that's the geek way. This way, I try to push your hand forward, and you try to push BACKWARD against my hand." This way I had all the leverage. "One two three GO!" Again his peak popped up and seemed to grow harder. Our flat hands strained against each other. I thought I could easily push his arm down. I was wrong. I had to regulate my breathing. He held me in place with the back of his hand. I gripped around his palm but it did me no good. I put my lats into it and grabbed the table leg underneath, trying to cheat by pulling my whole body together. But I still couldn't budge his arm, it was like iron. The veins in his arms started to beat with his pulse. He was moving his arm backward! I drew sharp gasping breaths and held them. I flexed again and again with bursts of power, pulling openly with my other arm but it didn't phase him. He started to twist, since his arm can't rotate that way very far; but the shifting should have made him even weaker. Instead his twists made him stronger. I braced my legs and launched an all-out full-body assault against his monster bicep. My muscles strained and bulged but he simply twisted a little more and pressed my arm further backward. His delts split, then split again as they powered my big football bicep down against the table: and held me there. I couldn't get up, and I couldn't pull my arm loose. And this was pure delt strength! "Shawn, stop" I wheezed. "Let me up. I think you're hurting me." "I'm not letting you up until you promise I can put my shirt on and we can study." As if he needed my permission for anything! He still didn't get it. I felt come begin to spurt down my leg. I promised. I had to get to the bathroom. I cleaned myself up with some kleenex and flushed it; thank god my come is thick and sticky, it didn't stain my jeans too much and cleaned up easy. I heard a knock at the door. I took some deep breaths and came out. "I brought some Cokes," he said. He had three. He was still shirtless. I laughed, kind of nervously. "Three, huh? Is that your muscle building formula?" "No," he said, "I thought I'd show you one last thing that I do. To build up my chest muscles." He took the unopened can and stepped into the shower. "You have stand close so I can close the curtain. I don't want to make too much of a mess, Mom gets mad." So stuck my head in and looked down over his shoulder, his bunched trap rising up to my jaw. I could feel the heat off his mostly smooth skin: he held the Coke can before his abdomen in both hands. His hands started to tremble and his pecs ballooned out. His arm veins burst out across the skin. His knuckles turned white. He took a deep breath and I remembered to breath too: and he grunted once, then twice, then BOOOM! The entire top of the can blew off and hit the tile on the other side and coke shot out in a tight stream, spraying the walls and curtain. Some splashed back at me and my aching cock hardened again as he started laughing with joy. I laughed too, looking at the crushed aluminum. He reached over to get the top for me, his lats falling out on either side, and he showed me me the blown-out metal plate, the crimping on the sides spread apart. All from the pressure of his pecs and arms! "Whoa, dude, that takes like six hundred pounds of pressure! You rock, dude!" I tried to high- five him but he messed it up. He wiped the Coke off his body with a wash cloth and I got another great view of his muscles working like a team of race horses to do the simplest task. His biceps jumping and bulging made me dizzy so I grabbed another towel and started sponging down the shower, to hide my flushed face and groaning groin. When I turned around, he was gone; he returned with his shirt almost buttoned. "Now we HAVE to study." He smiled like a kid. I was his friend now, and we were all over chemistry. But I didn't remember a damn thing of what he taught me. *** "Troy, you are so whack," said D. "Just because you got pussy-strength don't mean some geek can take us. Look at these guns." D had the biggest guns in the school; he said they were twenty inches but I measured them and they were really just eighteen and a quarter but he swore me to silence. They were impressive mountains of meat nonetheless, especially on a seventeen year old. Easily bigger than Shawn's muscles. I was always glad to ogle them. "I'm tellin' ya, Shawn is freaky strong." "He got the freak part right." They dapped and laughed and I tried to quiet them down. I'd invited Shawn to join us. "Sssh, here he comes. Be chill." Shawn walked up, not looking at anyone. His giant glasses were sliding off his nose but both hands were full of books and he looked up at the ceiling of the gym and tried to shake them back up on his nose, like a seal. The guys suppressed a laugh and I tried to make Shawn comfortable. "Look, Shawn, I know you don't like to show off but these guys don't believe how brutally strong you are. I was hoping you'd show them." "You just want another excuse to tease me," he said sullenly. He hadn't put down his books. "No, no, honest. It's simple: I want you to do a tug-of-war with the four of us. You on one side, we're on the other." "That doesn't seem fair," he said. I thought I knew what he meant: that I wanted vengeance. I was so wrapped up in myself I couldn't see any other side. "But okay, if it'll make you happy. I'm not taking off my clothes this time though." I blushed and D raised his eyebrow and made a fruity gesture with his pinky. I shoved my fist into his shoulder and got the rope. It was a black nylon rope with orange diamonds woven into it, about three-quarters of an inch thick. There was a line in the cement that we used for the center, and Shawn put down his books and went to one side, where I tossed him the rope. He didn't wrap it around his arms or nothing, just stood there like an old-time boxer, gripping the rope. This would be cake. The four of us positioned ourselves with D as the anchor. He took up the slack in the rope by wrapping it around his waist and tying it off. And we prepared, as we'd practice, to pull on the count of four and yank Shawn onto his face. "One ... two ... three ... FOUR" and we YANKED. The force knocked me off my feet and I slid down onto my ass. Shawn hadn't moved, but his knuckles were white where they gripped the rope. I got up and shouted again. "One ... two ... three ... HEAVE!" We pulled again but again, nothing happened. Now the guys believed there was a trick and started arguing but Shawn just stood there. Holding the rope out in front of him. We started pulling any way we could. D was grunting rhythmically and pulling with all his might to dislodge Shawn but he just stood there, one leg bracing the other, and pulled back against us. Resisting our combined force and weight of over seven hundred pounds of football-massacring meat. I could see his arms swelling as the light glistened off the changing shape of the nylon jacket's sleeves: his peaks were bulging out and starting to stretch the fabric. He gritted his teeth and veins rose up on his neck. He gave a tug and we jerked forward! "GO! GO! GO!" D screamed with an edge of desperation in his voice. We all pulled crazily, stomping our feet throwing our bodies backward with the rope but Shawn tugged AGAIN and our feet skidded forward on the concrete. "This can't be happening, man!" D whined. Then he began chanting "GO GO GO" again, louder and higher. The rope twisted taut between us. Shawn pulled again and held us with one hand while he changed his grip. We all saw it and we all pulled in unison and Shawn leaned forward a bit - and stopped up on his toes. Without putting his hand back on the rope he let himself fall back onto his feet and dragged us toward him ONE-HANDED!" Then he ... he SMILED and stuck his other hand into the air! D sounded like he was crying. I looked back and his face was screwed up with rage and bright red. "He can't do this to us, man, we're JOCKS!" he shouted. But every time his back and arms and legs pulled they met the shocking resistance of Shawn's grinning nerd muscle. He started walking backward while holding the rope in his one hand. Our feet tried for purchase on the concrete but we stumbled and skidded along, incapable of resisting his power. He walked backward until I was almost across the concrete line, then fed us a little line so we all fell on our asses. Then laughing he pulled us all across the line on out butts hand over hand until we were stopped at his feet and looking up at him. Like he was a god or something. His face was sweaty from the strain and he took his glasses off and wiped them. His brylcreamed hair had come loose and fell over his face a bit and I realized suddenly with a pang: he was handsome. More handsome than me. If he didn't present himself like a geek, he could have all the pussy he could ever want. Or man-pussy, if that's what he wanted. I hoped it was and then hated myself for thinking it. He'd just defeated me! How could I want him? I was a conqueror. FUCK! I thought I'd cry but I choked it down. We scrambled to our feet and I noticed the nylon was really stretched out around his bicep. The sweat stained his shirt and he said smiled at us: not the hunter's smile of earlier but a friendly smile. "That was fun. We should do it again but like I said, four on one isn't fair. See ya." He picked up his books and walked away. I coiled up the rope and saw where his fingers had punished it, it had flattened. I tried to flatted the rope in MY fingers and couldn't. I hated him. I had to get him. Somehow. *** This time the whole football team was on our backs about having been utterly demolished by Shawn, aka NerdMuscle. Nobody would believe me but D carried a lot of weight so they decided that whatever sort of technique or oriental skills he might have picked up on the internet, it couldn't be a match for the sheer brawn of the entire Hamilton High football team. We got twenty-two of the biggest, strongest guys in the school. Some of them, like D, are better built than the coaches; some of them (I won't name names) are also on the juice. They got specially juiced up for the confrontation. Shawn seemed cool with it so we got a real thick mooring-cable rope and met him on the football practice field, over the fifty yard line. He'd stand at his thirty, I'd stand on our thirty and the team would line behind me. Whoever pulled the other side over twenty yards of field would be the winner. We knew we'd reel him in like a trout. "It's all skins," I said, hoping to intimidate him. We all stripped off our jerseys and stood there, flexing our pecs in the sun. He glared at me and stripped off his jacket and shirt. A whisper went through the crowd as they saw his sculpted physique. D walked over to him to shake hands. "Hey guy, look, no hard feeling--" he began but his voice faltered as he got closer and saw the veins snaking over the lumps of Shawn's forearms. He stuck out his hand and said, "You've got a killer bod, man. Good luck." They shook and stood there for a minute, testing each other's grip. Each matched the other in building pressure until Shawn smiled into the sun and gave a sharp squeeze, his forearm knotting and rolling. We thought we heard D breathe in quick as his jaw dropped. He relaxed his hand as a sign for truce before the more-than-human muscle in Shawn's hand caused irreparable damage. And he waited until he tied himself off as the anchor again, behind us all, before he shook out that hand. Again, Shawn just stood there, light glistening off his paper-white skin which only threw the shadows cast by his ridges and acres of muscle into deeper relief. Again, I counted to four, and we PULLED with a warrior's cry. However strong Shawn may be, he wasn't prepared for the full might of twenty-two big hormone-crazed athletes. Nearly two tons of men on one end of the rope, and Shawn's lanky, amazing body on the other: we pulled him forward onto his knees and dragged him five yards before he could skitter his feet back under him, and another five yards before he could dig them in. We were half way home: trouble is, we pissed him off. Bad idea. Shawn dug his feet into the ground and we all heard a rip as his calves tore the seams apart on his Sears jeans. His thighs swelled and more seams tore apart. The rope halted suddenly, jarring teeth and pulling muscles. Guys shouted and cried out as their straining muscles suddenly cramped or tore, or they bit their tongues. And Shawn's legs were buried to the ankle. He grunted and threw his sliding glasses off. His dark hair fell forward and again I was struck by how Tarzan- like his face looked, how handsome ... and determined. With his arms fully extended, his triceps shot outward like extensions of the thick mooring line, their striations as regular as the twisted strands of rope. His pecs bunched up between his trembling biceps and the sweat that rolled down his throbbing neck into the split couldn't penetrate it, so tightly squeezed together were those pecs. The sweat, with nowhere to go, built up along the ledge of his collarbone and cascaded in sheets over the rippling muscle, following the cuts to his arms and then flowing downward from there. Then Shawn began to pull back. The rope twisted around and around between the two sides as the stalemate brought immense forces to bear on it. All we could hear was the creaking of the rope as it slowly spun one way, then the other, struggling to hold together or even to stretch somehow; and the breathing of twenty-three men locked in mortal combat. The tension radiated into the air: something had to give. It wasn't going to be Shawn. He wrapped the rope around his wrist and leaned back until he practically lay on the ground. Forty- four arms struggled against his two: and no one moved. Forty-four arrogant school-ruling arms pumped and strained and reddened: and they moved Shawn's toward them perhaps a half inch. Maybe more. Shawn couldn't pull his feet out of the ground. In fact, he seemed to have sunk deeper, pushing his cheap torn jeans higher up his legs. He began to draw his hands toward his chest. And he was doing it, too. His hand got closer and his pecs domed outward. Guys behind me grunted and felt the rope slipping in their hand. So they wrapped the rope around their wrists and leaned back against the drag: and legs began to tremble, knee ligaments to sing. I heard wheezing behind me and somebody let out an agonized cry of rage as his labor became unbearable. Using the amazing speed which powered his typing, Shawn shot one hand out while keeping the line taut with the other. We gained maybe another half inch each time, but lost ten times that when he pulled more rope onto his side of the field. His arms engorged with pounding blood, the peaks of his biceps erect with power. His abs sank in, meshed and flexed as they funneled strength from his legs and trunk into his spreading back, pecs and arms. And he drew his hand toward him again, letting out rope slack with relief behind him. A dozen guys stomped their feet in shame and fury, but each stomp lost ground; they felt their knees buckle against the awesome might of Shawn's biceps. My cock arched painfully against my cup as I realized Shawn was outmuscling nearly two dozen men with just his upper body power! My heart raced and then I saw our doom: he pulled one foot out, kicking clods of dirt into the air, and placed it behind him. He arched his back and sought to straighten that leg: and with a hard thrust and a roar of triumph he yanked us forward a foot. Then his arms really began to work and we lost another foot as he stepped back and again inexorably drew his hands toward his jagged pecs, muscles that interlocked like the jaws of death. Feet dug into the earth, and dug trenches as Shawn's building power outmanned the combined strength of the entire football squad. We were losing now, losing for real. Guys began shouting "No! No! No!" and pulled like galley slaves in rhythm with their vocal denial of an incomprehensible reality. But the more they grunted and shouted and stressed their lats and arms and legs, the more Shawn matched them all muscle for muscle: matched and outmatched them. Every move we made to stop the juggernaut of NerdMuscle was checked by Him. His fingers digging into the taut rope fibers like talons and the rope piling up behind him was frayed and pulled into loose strands by his uncanny finger strength. And I saw he was grinning, grinning wide and proud. He was now back at his own thirty yard line; and we'd lost twelve yards of our own. Now HE was halfway home, and the rope that slid slowly through my hands was smeared with blood from burst blisters. But now Shawn was holding his position and determined to reduce our forces with arm and back strength alone. The vein crossing that one huge bicep seemed almost ready to burst the skin, so hard was the bulging muscle beneath it. His lats stood so far out it doubled his body width. He began dragging us toward him hand over hand with a steady, slightly jerky rhythm, each arm making three or four yanks that savaged our hands and made ten men stumble, then another six. D, the anchor, had turned around and was trying to walk away from Nerd Muscle but his feet sunk into the earth and he couldn't stop our deadly progress toward the source of all strength, as if we were a swarm of mighty planet-smashing asteroids being sucked helplessly into the sun. One, two, three four: his arm bent at his side, bicep crowding out against his forearm, and again: one, two three. Guys were crying, screaming and raging but nothing we could do could stop him. Foot by foot and yard by yard we neared the fifty yard line, and he picked up the pace, buckling our muscle as guys' legs collapsed and they fell to the ground. Some actually let go, unable to grip any longer and the rest of us piled over them, unable to resist Shawn's muscle force. When I crossed the fifty I thought he'd stop but he wasn't going to until his nemesis, D, could see that central yard line. More guys fell off the line, grabbing cramped and torn and strained muscles and joints. Shawn just reeled us in like toddlers until D looked down and saw his defeat: a pit of rutted mud on the edges of which radiated out the fifty yard line. Shawn held the rope tight until everyone dropped off but D, who still leaned into the pull. Then he let go and D fell face-first into the torn earth. And Shawn laughed and shook out his massively leonine muscles. I gazed around at the guys limping or clutching their injuries, some crying in pain and humiliation, and I had the sinking feeling that football season was over, and it was all my fault. The coach would kill me (mostly because he clearly couldn't TOUCH Him). But the feeling of that power, that awe-inspiring, overwhelming, hero- worshipping power: it was the greatest rush I'd ever felt. To see this computer geek overcome all our weight and strength, to feel the irresistable power of his body exerting itself in the sun.... my cock spurted come again down my leg and I didn't care. My eyes rollwed back as I lay on the ground, looking up at him, flexing and stretching in the sun. Like a fucking god. I staggered to my feet and walked up to Shawn. His chest heaved up and down but he was already catching his breath. "Well, I guess you guys won't be calling me a nerd anymore," he said. "Look," I said, still winded, "you're still ... a classic ... computer ... geek." I tried to laugh but it hurt my side. He smiled at my wince of pain. "You know, it looks like the team's gonna be out of commission for awhile. Pity. Maybe I should represent the school this Friday. You could teach me what football's all about. I learn quickly." And I had no doubt, no doubt whatsoever, that he'd kick El Camino's collective ass. THE END ChipMasterson@yahoo.com