Officer Cole versus the WSM
by Chip Masterson

Day 1

"Here we are in the beautiful Bahamas, Luke, for the 2000 World's Strongest Man 
competition.  The biggest, strongest men in the world are here this year for the 
millennial title.  There's only one new entrant, Police Officer Reggie Cole of 
Venice Beach, California.  Let's see how he stacks up against the competition."

"That's right, Bill, Cole has never competed before anywhere in the world.  In 
fact, he claims he didn't even train specifically for these events.  As our 
long-time viewers know, many events depend upon not only raw strength but skill 
and technique.  Someone unused to, say flipping a quarter-ton car over onto its 
roof in the sand might find it a little different than deadlifting that amount 
in a gym."

"Yet in the preliminaries, Luke, Cole edged out the other competitors to make it 
into the final heat by one point.  Everyone was very impressed at the way he 
handled himself on the field, and though he didn't come in first very often, his 
times were good enough to secure him the fourth-place berth in today's final 
competition.

"We can see the competitors for the final heat lining up now.   There's Thor 
Thorstrom from Iceland, what a giant.  At 6'8" and 355 lbs, he was the biggest 
on the scene until Cole entered the competition.  Next to him is Magnus von 
Boekstra of South Africa.  6'2" and 275 lbs of pure power, Magnus has won this 
title almost as many times as you did before your retirement, Bill."

"Magnus is a fine competitor and a great human being, Luke.  Next to Magnus is 
Manfred Himmel, who's massive arms aren't just for show.  Taped this morning at 
27.5", they dwarf any other man's.  He's a shoe-in to win all events requiring 
grip and arm strength.  In fact, earlier in the broadcast we witnessed him 
crushing a full can of Pepsi with only one hand-that's nearly 600 lbs of 
pressure in those five fingers, folks!"

"Someone you don't want to make angry.  Finally, Reggie Cole of California.  
Cole is the first African American competitor in many years.  At 6'11" and an 
astonishing 425 lbs, he dominates the field with sheer size.  He wears only 
bright yellow lycra biking shorts that really stand out against his coal-black 
skin.  And unlike many of the other competitors, his waist is an incredible 34"; 
it seems almost impossible that he could have the power of these other men."

"But look at his arms, Luke.  Although smaller by only an inch than Manfred's, 
they almost look bigger due to the iron-ore density of the biceps.  And those 
triceps look like biceps turned upside down-look at that poterior head!  Most 
men find more power in carrying extra fat but Cole seems to think this is a 
body-building competition.  You can practically see the capillaries pressed out 
through his thin skin."

"We'll see how well his strategy pays off.  First up is the weight for height, 
sometimes called the Trojan Wall.  We've upped the ante this year with a beer 
keg filled with lead shot over a wall behind them.  The record up to now is held 
by Magnus, for 65 lbs for 16'3".  This keg weighs a full 90 lbs."

"First up is the newcomer.  He's picking up the keg and bouncing it in his arms 
like a football.  You can hear the shot rolling around inside.  Wow!  He should 
have no trouble clearing this 12 foot wall."

"But wait, Bill--he's pressing his hands to the ends of the keg.  Look at those 
arms swell up!  You can see Manfred's jaw has dropped open--they must be as big 
as his by now.  But he's not throwing the keg, he's--he crushing it.  The top 
just crumpled in.  Now his fingers are grabbing the folded edge and bending the 
metal in, he's folding down into itself.  Hear that metal crackle under those 
fingers.  We're going to need a new barrel after this awesome display."

"Cole is waving his hands and motioning for something else.  A forklift is 
delivering a safe onto the field.  Someone's handed me a spec sheet.  This safe 
is a heavy duty fire and impact resistant model that can withstand 1820 degrees 
for 2 hours and a drop from 30 feet.  The door's overall thickness is 5.25" 
constructed with a 2.25 defense barrier.  The 3.5" walls are inner and outer 
steel plates enclosing high density fireproof material, and the door is secured 
by six 1.5" diameter chrome plated solid steel bolts, spring loaded.  Nearly a 
yard high and over two feet wide and two feet deep, it weighs 1182 lbs."

"He's rolling his finger, indicating he wants the wall higher.  It's going up, 
up, up, and now it's at the limit, 19.5 feet.  He's shrugging.  Now he's placed 
his hands beneath it and he's lifting the over half-ton mass easily.  If this is 
on the level, that beats the deadlift record right there.  Those thighs are 
easily the largest I've ever seen on a human.  He's squatting, He's up, and the 
safe is flying up into the air!"

"Where's he going?  He's running around the other side--quick, a camera!  The 
safe cleared the top of the wall by two feet.  Now it's crashing down--he caught 
it!  Above his head he caught it!  It drove his feet into the sand up to his 
ankles but he's carrying back around to this side.  Luke, this is unbelievable!"

"Apparently in his prior performance he was holding back-holding waaay back.  It 
seems he wanted to see who the world's strongest men were so that he could show 
them up.  Bill, what's he doing now?"

"He's try to pry his fingers into the safe's door.  That's over two inches of 
steel plating on the exterior alone.  Good god, Luke, are those filings?  It 
looks like there are metal shavings coming out of where his fingers are digging 
into the door near the lock."

"What the-Cole lost his temper and brought his fist down on top of the safe.  
It's still ringing, and there's a dent in the top.  It's three and a half inches 
thick of burglar, fire and gunshot-resistant steel, and he dented it like it was 
aluminum.  What's he doing now?"

"He's picked the safe up and pressed the locking mechanism to his chest.  His 
hands are gripping the rear sides.  And he's - he's actually pressing it to his 
chest.  Look at the determination on his face, Luke."
 
"He's really started to sweat now.  His dark skin is glistening in this humid 
heat as the water pours off him.  I've never seen anything so heroic before in 
my life."

"Can we get a camera on that?  It looks like the rectangle of steel is-I can't 
believe it.  It's warping, like a parallelogram.  Listen: you can hear the solid 
steel creak under the pressure of this man's arms against his own chest."

"I wish I could tell you folks this was a stunt but the safe has been thoroughly 
inspected.  It's steel and he's creating pressure with his bare hands it cannot 
withstand.  Wait, I heard something crack."

"Talk about safe-cracking, Luke.  The safe doesn't have a right angle on it 
anywhere anymore but it still looks intact.  He's setting it down.  Get a camera 
around there."

"Look at that: the dial and handle have been flattened against the steel, which 
bears the imprint of his pecs.  The door is caved inward in two shell-shaped 
places and the you can even see the outline of his abs farther down.  The door's 
still intact, though."

"That cracking sound must have been the external locking mechanisms.  While this 
awesome display of brute power is one thing, getting through those six inch-and-
a-half solid steel bolts will be another story."

"Maybe, Bill.  But look how the door's pressed inward.  His fingers are digging 
again into the gap that's opened and the steel is squeezing back.  Look at that!  
With one arm bracing the distorted safe his other hand is bending the corner of 
the door out.  The audience can hear the shrieking as the steel gives before 
this inhuman strength, and they're roaring.  He's bent the corner of the door 
back and wedged his entire hand down behind the door.  He's breathing, he seems 
to be counting.... One, two, three.... Sweet Jesus!"

"The door of the safe is pressing back out where his chest has caved it in.  
Those six steel bolts are visibly bending before this onslaught of power.  Look 
at the rippling muscle!  There!  He's sprung the door open!  It's twisted and 
mangled and the bolts are bent inwards.  It barely swings on the hinges, but 
he's forcing it back with more tortured-metal sounds.  Now he's smiling, smugly, 
and holding a finger up in the air before his eyes.  The audience is silent.  
Now he's taking that finger and drawing our attention to the inside of the 
safe."

"It's filled with gold bouillon.  It must be several hundred pounds of gold 
ingots tumbled together in that fractured box, Bill.  That means the safe must 
have weighed nearly three-quarters of a ton.  And he shot it 22 feet into the 
air, over the wall, and ran around to catch it over his head.  Then crack it 
open like a nut.  This is ... I need to take a break.  My heart can't take 
this."

Day 2

"Five minutes, guys."

"Where's my clip?  Can you believe this guy?  He claims he's never used steroids 
or even andro once.  There's something fishy here."

"I don't know, Luke.  I took a look at that safe.  I'm a strong guy & I couldn't 
even swing the door closed again, the hinges were so warped.  I'm just glad the 
gold made it back to the bank.  We don't have insurance for these kind of 
stunts."

"Listen, I'd feel better if-where are my notes?--if I knew something about 
Cole's routine, where he trains.  The guys from Gold's have all seen him but he 
never trains there.  He's like some sort of scientific freak."

"You got that right. But still, he's likable enough, even self-deprecating.  He 
really apologized for crumpling up that beer keg.  Gave me a check for it on the 
spot."

"We've got to do something about his attire.  Did you see that boner he popped 
when he tackled that safe?  It was obscene.  The camera crew had their work cut 
out for them taking in that astonishing feat of strength and not see that 
monstrous dick.  This is a Disney channel, for chrissakes."

"You're on in five, four, three...."

"Luke, here we are again in this most incredible World's Strongest Man 
competition I have ever reported on.  Not since Magnus Samuellson broke Nathan 
Jones' arm in arm wrestling have we seen such a tremendous display of strength."

"I don't think there will be anyone going up against Reggie Cole in arm 
wrestling today.  We have a different event, though, that might tax the police 
officer from Venice.  We've seen an amazing feet of explosive power and arm 
strength, but today it's leg strength that counts, and endurance."

"That's right, it's an up-hill car carry.  These hollowed-out Fiats weigh about 
900 lbs, and standing in the middle of all that steel it's hard to balance the 
engine, which is still in the compartment.  This is no place for weak ankles."

"The competitors are lined up and giving Officer Cole wary glances.  The grade 
is about five percent and goes on for a good 500 feet.  We'll have to see who 
can wrangle those unbalanced cars to the top and who can't."

"We have the gun and they're off.  Cole has lifted his car over his head-what 
delts! And tossed it aside.  He's running off to another course, where we have 
the truck pull set up for tomorrow."

"Bill, I don't believe it.  He's put his hands on the front bumper of the 18-
wheeler's cab and curled it up into the air.  The shocks are groaning.  Now he's 
pressed it up over his head, and-- God! Supporting it with one arm, he's turned 
around beneath it and settled it back on his shoulders.  You can see slight 
impressions in the steel bumper where his hands lifted that cab."

"Now, folks, he's dragging the cab back to the car-carry track, towing the 
trailer behind him.  There goes tomorrow's event, we'll have to come up with 
something else, Luke."  

"The others still have their lead but Magnus is struggling a bit, the front end 
keeps hitting the ground.  And-oh, no, it looks like Manfred may have tripped.  
His car's on the ground for good, it looks like."

"Big Thor Thorstrom is still chugging away, and has just passed the hundred foot 
marker, which is a world record in itself.  And the car barely rocks on his 
shoulders-I wish my car had suspension like that."

"Cole's now turning to go up the grade.  Look at Cole's thighs, they're 
monstrous and they just keep pulling that weight uphill.  Get that steady-cam 
there, I want a close-up of that cab resting on his bare back."

"Thor's just past the 200 foot mark and is puffing heavily but is determined to 
keep going.  He has no idea what's going on behind him.  Cole has just passed 
Manfred, who's shaking his head in amazement.  Magnus is still struggling but it 
looks like he's stopping just short of the 100 foot mark.  Cole's bare feet are 
depressing the pavement but the big trailer is having trouble with the turn.  I 
don't think he'll catch Thor with all that steel on his back.

"I wouldn't be too sure of that, Bill.  In spite of the weight, the tropical 
heat, and the incline, Cole's making good progress.  He's changing course to 
straighten out the trailer-would you look at that!  He's backing up and making 
that beeping sound, with a grin on his face!  This seems to be some sort of game 
to him."  

"His thighs must be feeling it but he's straightened out and is going faster.  
Our steady-cam is having trouble keeping up with him.  He's really pounding the 
pavement now, and look!  It's cracked around his foot impressions."

"If Magnus' eyes were any wider they'd fall out.  Thor just passed the 300 mark.  
Cole's really picking up speed, in fact the wheels of the trailer are bouncing 
off the bumps in the road.  He's actually sprinting with a big rig on his back!"  

"Cole's passing Thor now.  Thor sees what he's carrying and drops his car.  He's 
looks like he's having trouble breathing-get a medic down there!"

"Cole's almost at the 400 mark but look, he's seen the ambulance racing towards 
Thor.  His hands-those swollen biceps fill his arms and he's throwing the cab 
back off his shoulders.  The coupling's bending and oh! It's snapped off!  The 
cab is teetering on its end and falling over and the trailer is rolling back 
down the hill.  Clear the area, everybody!"

"Cole seems to have realized what his muscle power has accomplished.  He's 
running back to grab the end of the rolling trailer.  His fingers are digging 
into the steel like it's foil and his feet are trenching the pavement.  Look at 
those arms bulge as he drags that trailer to a stop."

"What the-he's lifting up on the corner.  The wheels are off coming off the 
ground with a groan and now he's flopping the whole trailer onto its side.  He's 
still manhandling it, shoving it and jerking it with a screech of grinding 
steel, to keep it from sliding and now he's racing back to Thor."

"The medics are having trouble lifting the Icelandic giant out of the Fiat.  
Cole leaps onto the car, his feet denting the hood, and he's forcing the steel 
shoulder-support bars apart.  Now he's lifting Thor out and holding him in his 
arms like a boy and jumping down to lay him on the pavement.  We'll report back 
to you as soon as we know anything."

Day 3

"I am so tired.  I thought we'd never be able to edit that boner out of his 
shorts."

"We had to shoot the legs that carried all that steel uphill at a run.  They're 
almost as big as my chest."

"But all he was concerned about was Thor.  Good thing it was just a little 
shortness of breath.  I know Thor wouldn't want to miss what's on the table for 
today."

"Not after the way he beat up that semi.  I don't think insurance will cover 
THAT."

"Five, four, three..."

"We're here in the beautiful Bahamas for day three of the World's Strongest Men 
2000 competition.  All our athletes have put on quite a show but the balls-out 
best-"

"Luke."

"Er, sorry, folks, what I mean to say is the true star of this year's 
competition is first timer Reggie Cole from Venice, California.  I can't wait to 
see how he tackles today's event-"

"And the organizers have been up all night trying to come up with something to 
really challenge our newcomer.  Since he has consistently humiliated all our 
events so far..."

"Just yesterday we caught him at the Heavy Object Carry Course, where the 
athletes pick up and carry things like engine blocks and fire hydrants and 
deposit them in dumpsters.  Cole was standing behind the starting line, lifting 
the huge steel blocks and shooting them like basketballs into the dumpsters-"

"And never missing, Luke.  So in an unusual turn of events, all three veterans 
are teaming up against Reggie Cole for this next event.  It's three on one and I 
wouldn't take those odds in a minute.  This Cole is going to give our strongmen 
a real run for the money.  Let's cut to a quick commercial and we'll be right 
back."

"Look at the cocky son-of-a-bitch.  He knows the effect he's having on these 
guys and loving the psyche-out.  He's almost feeding off their fear and 
amazement.  He may have been a nice guy to you, Bill, but ....

"No, he's really enjoying this test of his limits.  I think we're starting to 
see the aggressive side that has to exist in order to create a body as massive 
and as strong as his.  Look at the way it gleams in the light, those bulbous 
muscles so ripped and dense."

"I know, Bill.  I love my wife but he's starting to give me a woody."

"We're back in five, four, three..."

"Welcome back, folks.  What's on the plate for today, Bill?"

"This is a new event our athletes themselves decided upon.  It's a sort of arm 
wrestling tug-of-war.  Basically, Reggie Cole will sit at an arm wrestling table 
and hold a rope in his left hand.  Thor, Manfred and Magnus will attempt to pull 
his arm backward, while he attempts to pull forward.  Now we've seen some 
amazing feats from Cole so far but I don't know about this one. Cole will be 
sitting to pit his strength against over 900 straining pounds of pure leg, back 
and arm muscle."

"The fact that they came up with this strategy is a testament to Cole's 
overwhelming performance.  If the three others win, the each get ten points, but 
if Cole should somehow outmuscle them, he'll get 30 points.  Let's get started."

"Cole is taking the rope, it's about an inch and a half in diameter.  He's not 
wrapping it around his hand or wrist, he's going out with pure grip strength on 
this one, Luke."

"That may be his downfall.  If he lets go, that's as much a loss as if they pull 
that arm down.  And what an arm it is!  Even relaxed it poses a serious threat 
to the six immense legs that are stamping the concrete for traction.  We're 
counting down and Cole's massaging the rope with his fingers...."

"And we're off!  Cole's left lat has soared outward and the peak on that biceps 
is something Manfred must envy.  The three are just getting started however, 
they're testing the waters and holding that rope taut."

"Oh, a sudden lunge by Cole's arm has knocked the other competitors off-balance 
but Thor's in front and his oaken legs have clamped down on the pavement.  They 
gave away an couple inches to Cole on that but it looks like, yes, they're 
gaining them back."

"However, the strain is already showing on their faces, while Cole simply looks 
determined, his mouth set but not clenched, and veins just beginning to throb in 
that spreading neck of his.  A light sheen like oil has spread over his body but 
the sweat is visibly dripping off the three veterans."

"Manfred has let out a bark and they've begun a rhythmic tugging that slowly 
seems to be moving Cole's arm backward.  They're pulling hard, and Cole's 
immense arm is slowly turning with each pull.  Look how thick that head is, 
Bill!  The muscle fibers are vibrating beneath that skin like the magnetic coils 
on a generator."

"They're sensing victory all right.  Thor's beginning to smile, and his 
trembling pecs and swelling delts testify to the kind of pressure he's exerting 
on that twisting hawser.  Cole's arm is at 45 degrees but his body isn't bending 
with it, see how his lat is simply thickening."

"A quick peak at Cole's right side reveals complete relaxation and composure: 
he's not even tensing his right arm!  This is as pure a demonstration of 
strength as I have ever seen.  Too bad it's going to be overcome by these-"

"Wait a minute, Luke, don't count Cole out yet.  The three seem to have hit a 
spot they can't overcome.  Their faces are going red and they're really starting 
to grunt and labor, but the arm's not budging.  Is he-is he smiling?"

"Looks like Cole's ready for a comeback.  He's smiling and shaking his head as 
if to say, Get a load of THIS.  And that arm is as solid as a girder."

"The legs of the other strongmen are really pumping, they're heaving with their 
backs in unison and pulling tremendously on that rope but Cole's thick fingers 
aren't even trembling.  And his arm seems to be swelling, impossibly bigger-"

"That forearm, Bill, looks like a giant bowling pin.  It's bigger than most 
bodybuilder's upper arms.  His triceps are denting the steel table top and-and 
the leg of the table just buckled outward.  That surprised Cole, so now he's 
lifted his arm above the table and is doing this with no leverage at all.  That 
arm is now totally supported by his lats and he's pulling it forward.

"The men are nearly horizontal and Cole's left biceps is pulling them upright.  
They can't let go of the rope.  Thor is grimacing in pain and, I imagine, shame 
as that arm forces him to take a step forward to maintain his balance.  Manfred 
has started tugging like a wild man and screaming and Magnus looks like his big 
arms are about to explode.  They've taken another step now and are trying to dig 
in but Cole's bicep is too much for them to handle, they can't get any advantage 
over it.  It's now past the half-way point and that peak is half-way up his 
forearm, it's filling his upper arm between his grape-fruit delt and that 
forearm as a solid mass of living steel. Another step forward for the strongmen, 
and another."

"Cole's really sweating now, it's running down his face and off his body in 
crystalline drops.  His right arm is still at rest in his lap and his left still 
an inch above the crippled steel table.  He's at 45 degrees and lets out a belt 
that makes our crew down there cover their ears."

"Cole's barking out grunts and pulling his arm down.  He's laying it down flat 
on the table and the table groans as the other legs, bolted to the ground, have 
no where to move but outward beneath that kind of pressure."

"But our iron men won't accept defeat and they're still pulling and screaming.  
Cole looks back over his shoulder at them with a harsh grin, and releases his 
pinky.  Now his ring finger is in the air and he's holding them with-his middle 
finger is up!  He's holding them with just his thumb and forefinger.  Thor seems 
to be crying and the others bear looks of dire resignation.  Cole is on his feet 
and with one flex of that huge biceps pulls them over onto their faces.  They're 
pounding their fists against the concrete in fury and this contest is over.  
Cole's lead is now unbeatable on the third day of the 2000 World's Strongest Man 
competition."

"And we're out."

"Luke, what are you doing?"

"I can't help it, man, he's so fucking strong!  Did you see him demolish those 
three with his one fucking biceps?  Oh jesus, oh sweet jesus-"

"Stop it!  Oh, god, everyone saw.  This better not make it onto the blooper 
reel!"

Day 4

"...and I don't want to see a repeat of yesterday's performance."

"Yes sir.  But you gotta admit-"

"No, I don't want to hear it."

"I SAW you were gettin' a chubby too."

"That's enough!  We're professionals, for chrissakes."

"You're on in five, four, three..."

"Welcome back to this spectacular World's Strongest Man 2000.  Normally the 
finals consist of six events, two per day, but newcomer Big Reggie Cole is so 
superior we've only been able to stage one per day, and this morning is our last 
event.  The other three strongmen have all but given up hope of even competing 
with Cole, so towering is he in strength, speed, agility and endurance.  Today's 
final event is something new: a trial of strength for Officer Reggie Cole alone.  
We're going to shove everything we have at him and see how hard he shoves back."

"I'm getting anxious just at the thought of our plans today.  It's like 
something out of a cheesy Italian Hercules flick, but these effects aren't fake, 
it's real muscle in action.  Tell the folks what's in store for Officer Cole, 
Bill."

"We're going to test the limits of Cole's power in a timed event of strength, 
agility and endurance.  As for speed, let's show the folks a clip from yesterday 
evening, where Cole sprinted against our strongmen, except that he was carrying 
a 350 pound ship's anchor in his arms."

"And we're out.  Sixty seconds back, guys."

"Can you believe he outran those three guys? That anchor was bent all to hell 
where he clutched it against his pecs."

"The man's out of control.  This event should cool his jets.  And you behave.  
Don't even talk about how you feel."

"Will you lay off my back?  I think he's bothering you more than you'll admit.  
At least I-"

"We're back in five, four three..."

"Wasn't that spectacular, folks!  And it was just spur of the moment.  Let's go 
now to a special area prepared just for today's contest, a modified Hercules 
Hold, but with a difference."

"This is the end of the line.  The railroad that used to run across this 
tranquil tropical paradise is long gone, but we've secured the rails and ties 
and brought in two diesel locomotives that weigh 118 tons each.  We'll let out 
the breaks on this slight decline and Cole will have to see how long he can hold 
232 tons of steel against the pull of gravity with one hand.  And the other 
hand?"

"In the other hand he'll hold a cable attached to an Apache attack helicopter.  
This 'copter has a four-bladed articulated rotor system.  The AH-64D Apache 
Longbow is powered by two General Electric T700-GE-701 1698 turboshaft engines 
and has a rate of climb up to 1480 feet per second.  Even though we've seen some 
awe-inspiring feats from this incredible man, this event should be over in a 
matter of seconds."

"Remember, Manfred recently held two raging Porsches back for 28 seconds while 
their transmissions ground and their spinning tires filled the arena with 
burning rubber.  But this attack helicopter can lift the front end of one of 
those engines off the track.  What's going to keep it from simply soaring away 
with Cole?"

"We've sunk a large iron ring into the front of the engine and Cole will try to 
use the weight of the engine to keep him down.  I think he's nodding.  The 
helicopter is taking off and now pulling the cable tight."

"Cole is holding the ring attached to the engine underhand.  Look at that 
magnificent biceps peaking out from his arm.  The train brakes have let go and 
the engines have settled backward into the pull of gravity--watch that forearm 
swell!  The engines have stopped moving."

"The Apache is now going to rise.  Uh-oh, I THOUGHT the Apache was going to 
rise.  Cole's right arm is fully extended and looks like a tree rooted to his 
heroic torso.  The blades are spinning, whipping dirt and debris everywhere but 
it's not going anywhere."

"The pilot's putting more juice into it and you can see Cole's arm stretch out 
farther but he's holding it fast.  His underhand grip on that ring seems to be 
securing his feet, look at how his back is working to transfer his strength 
downward.  If there's a weak link in this chain between the Apache and the 
locomotives it doesn't look like it's anywhere in Cole's body."

"The Apache's pilot is shaking his head, he can't believe how long this has gone 
on already.  He's revving the engines but he's not gaining any ground.  Now he's 
maneuvering the chopper to try to break Cole's grip on the cable.  Cole's 
squinting up into the air at it and--OH MY GOD!  He tugged on the cable and the 
Apache SANK ten feet, sideways!  The pilot was knocked out of his seat!  Now 
Cole's holding it down with his triceps pressed against his side--look at that 
bulging arm!  Those cannonball delts!"

"While the army pilot climbs back into his seat it looks like Manfred and Magnus 
are climbing up into the diesels.  I don't like the looks on their faces, Luke."

"Cole's yelling something at them, he's challenging them.  They're firing up the 
engines to pull away and remove Cole's base of support.  The wheels are turning 
once, twice, and again, but they're not moving."

"Cole seems to be shouting COME ON, COME ON to the trains and to the copter.  
His back looks like it's over three feet wide from lat to lat, it sweeps up from 
his waist in a huge U shape.  The Apache's climbing again and pulling his arm 
out, but he's-- he's-- he's pulling it back."

"Folks, that roaring you hear isn't just the engines, it's also Reggie Cole 
bellowing.  Look at him master those machines!  The diesel wheels are spinning 
on the track, raising a screech that has people holding their heads in pain.  
Sparks are flying from the steel and with one arm he's holding those two diesel 
locomotives in place.  He's jerking on the cable and sending that huge attack 
helicopter bobbing in the sky. The pilot can barely handle the craft, he can't 
maneuver around Cole's biceps strength.  It's like a toy to the black giant, his 
outstretched arms working those powerful engines and taxing their mechanical 
might."

"I've never seen a body so big, such muscle power in action.  Our cameraman is 
scared to get close but if we zoom in we can see the striations and gigantic 
blood vessels throbbing over the liquid steel that's manipulating these great 
engines like toys."

"Manfred and Magnus have stopped the engines, and are now going forward, where 
the locomotives really have power.  Cole's changed his hand position and he's 
just as easily causing those wheels to spin.  Pulling with one hand and pushing 
with the other this muscle man is tormenting an army helicopter and keeping two 
diesel locomotives from moving in any direction.  The wheels continue to pick up 
speed but gain no ground as the rails start to vibrate.  Look out!  Chips of 
steel are breaking off the rails and the wheels as the diesels grind themselves 
into the ground against Cole's immovable arm.  His pecs are mounding and dealing 
out such punishment as I've never seen."

"White and black smoke is issuing from the helpless 'copter that this man will 
not let go.  The pilot is climbing out and throwing down a line but Cole won't 
stop jerking and yanking on the cable and the copter is tossing in the sky.  The 
pilot--oh my lord he's fallen out!  Get an ambulance out there stat!"

"Ladies and gentlemen, it may seem cruel but he's saving that pilot's life since 
it's clear he's going to wreak that helicopter for daring to challenge his 
virility.  The pilot's being moved to safety while the diesels still pour power 
into the mountain of Cole's swollen body.  And now with a final massive tug 
Cole's bringing the copter down into the earth, the blades snapping off and the 
armored body collapsing.  Look at that fireball!  It barely scorched him."

"But now Cole's turning his full attention to the two diesels, putting both 
hands to work even as the rails glow and start to warp.  The engines are raging 
forward but he's pushing them backward, pushing spinning steel wheels backward 
against their spin.  His head has sunk beneath massive shoulders and those legs 
are smashing the wooden ties as he drives the engines back, and back, and 
further back.  The track's only a few hundred feet long but now the rear 
locomotive's being shoved through the stopping block, it's splintering apart and 
now the wheels are grinding into the dirt, sending plumes of earth into the air 
as this Hercules forces his brawn over their steel diesel power."

"The rear engine is losing traction and is falling on its side.  Magnus is 
bailing out even as Cole continues to drive forward, shoving the forward engine 
back into the fallen rear one.  The front of the rear diesel is crushing in and 
it's pushing back through the gouged dirt on its side as Cole continues his 
relentless advance.  Now Manfred is bailing and with a titanic heave Cole sends 
the engine flying backward, crashing down into the ground.  Bent and crumpled 
steel is flying and Cole's standing there, raging and flexing those biceps and 
quads against the broken machinery.  He's the most massive man that has ever 
lived, nobody has ever done anything like this, holy shit!  I'm coming, I can't 
stop coming, I'm not touching myself but I'm--Bill?  Bill?"

"Uh, uh, uh, uh, ahhhh!  Aaaaaahhh!  Shit, fucking shit, that's a man, right 
there.  We're all his fuckin' bitch.  Aaaaarrrrgh!"

"Cut the tape!  For chrissakes somebody cut the fucking tape!"

	THE END

Chipmasterson@yahoo.com